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You're in My Veins, You Fuck




I’ve searched so many ways of how to delete you from my memory, yet I haven’t found the right one. Perhaps turning you into another fraction of my life would be helping me to erase you.

Probability 1:
If you were just my favorite song, I could simply repeat you for like 3215 times until my ear blows off. That is what I do with every music that remind me of you; every words of lyrics that took me back to the sight of your figure. I played it often enough until the familiarity itself sicken me. Probably taking much longer time, but I assure you, when another new song was played, I finally feel grateful; for not hearing that particular song no more; for having you gone from the core.

Probability 2:
If you were just a collage of photos hanging on my walls, I could simply took it and throw it away to the floor. Hearing the clinking sound of the glassed frame I carefully put it into is relieving. As if I have finally able to destroy you into little pieces of worthless fragments; as if I have finally able to make peace of your absence.

Probability 3:
It would be best if you were just a pile of dust on every book I haven’t read for so long. I don’t have any reason to get you away as soon as possible other than because I hate you deeply; because even if I don’t want to re-read those books, I just simply hate dusts. Swiping you off of my books would be the easiest way after all. One out of two favorite things of mine is book and I never want it to be covered on something I am allergic to; something I could easily dust off anytime I am reminded of you. 

And again I haven’t found the right way to erase you from my memory; even by imagining you as all of those things; even by manipulate my mind of thinking of you as no more than a smothering strings.

You are not some random things I could just despise anytime I need to. As much as I want you gone, I am not able to make it happen without destroying myself. Because you stay on place which is so vital; shown in the image above and written as this title. 

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Hurt Me Enough Until I am Able to Let You Go

I am hanging onto the ropes Of the hours you didn’t reply; Of the phone calls you didn’t answer; Of all the time you were a teaspoon of sugar, Then I fell shortly after Into the questions that wrecked me from inside The second you were gone. I’d rather have it kills me Than watching you slowly fade While I climb back into the exact same spot Where standing alone needs a big amount of effort  So don’t be a really good song,  A line of words I cannot ignore,  A written feelings I adore,  Just don’t.  I only need you to do me a favor:  To bring on the good pain  And hurt me deep  Hurt me enough  Until I am able to cut off the string  Until the ache of your existence is finally missing

Once upon every night

I misread the map and forget to say But you brushed it with “it’s okay, I prefer we took the long way” You smiled and let the music play How can you avoiding the right turn Makes my stomach burn Maybe it’s because the wheel speed doesn’t really match my heartbeat The one goes slow, the other one is overflow All we do is screaming out To the old song you like Our voice is tone deaf and sounds horrible At the moment I realized that my feeling is in trouble I cursed at the crowded street That you seemed to enjoy every bit It’s the way that you never think twice To not let me be alone under the night lights Maybe it gives me shiver More than the way you open the door Or bringing close my dinner Now you ended up being more than a blur