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About Somebody I Used To Know




Dear you, 

I lost my stack of papers the last time I write to you. It was the same time I saw him (again) on the exact same place and yet he didn’t notice me at all (as always). I wrote to you about how his eyes twitched every time he laugh too hard and sadly I accidentally left it on that coffee shop. No worries though because it’s only an unimportant scribble I always write down when I have nothing to do. Like I do now. I was supposed to be good at everything I like instead of wasting my time on things I really do hate. But I guess it’s a fuckin human nature; to have flaws, to not be an expert at every aspect of life. Or is it just my lame excuses for not trying hard enough, perhaps? Have you ever found a person so brilliant you can’t help but adore and wondering what did they do in their 24 hours worth a day? I have, and it got me thinking like whether they did too much or I did nothing my whole life. Well my rationality chooses the second statement of course since I realized there is a ton of times I did absolutely nothing but breathing and blinking. No wonder I often felt so empty I could disappear. 

I miss you by the way, I miss everyone. I miss the existence of people who used to be around me all the time. I miss talking to them, their companion, their presence. Sometimes I thought about the people I don’t talk to anymore. It felt like we were in each other’s radar 24/7 and now somehow she’s standing across the street, looking at me as someone she barely knew. I can’t even believe what have I done for her then. We go way back together with one of my best. We practically did things which we have never thought about if it wasn’t for her. I cared about my friends─all of them. And she’s my friend, at least I thought she was. Until one day I am sitting here can’t help but smile remembering those things we did, which actually for nothing. Things I learned from that is what making me who I am today. 

You know what, now I’m kind of used to stranger’s gaze, unfamiliar chatter, and ridiculous spelling of my name every time I order drinks from starbucks. The friendly smile from the barista kinda made my day though. I don’t know yet what tomorrow brings or what kind person it made me become, but tonight I’m Adit.
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I might be the most stubborn hot-headed person you will ever met, I might have the most annoying laugh you will ever heard, I might never stopped talking until your ears blown off. Believe it or not, there is another person who is as stubborn as me with the similar taste of jokes and complex thoughts. But she is way smarter with words, that I always feel like my writing will never be good enough compared to hers. She complained about how rarely I show my affection towards our friendship through my writing or my random post on instagram. To say that I don't have enough good pictures with her is just a mere excuse because I can simply write my feelings out like I did for my other close friends. But when it comes to her, I never feel like my written word is ever enough. She is a much brilliant writer than I ever be, and most of the time I feel like my words didn't do justice to describe it; to describe how she can be infuriating with her anger & big fire towards injustice of t...
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