Skip to main content

About Somebody I Used To Know




Dear you, 

I lost my stack of papers the last time I write to you. It was the same time I saw him (again) on the exact same place and yet he didn’t notice me at all (as always). I wrote to you about how his eyes twitched every time he laugh too hard and sadly I accidentally left it on that coffee shop. No worries though because it’s only an unimportant scribble I always write down when I have nothing to do. Like I do now. I was supposed to be good at everything I like instead of wasting my time on things I really do hate. But I guess it’s a fuckin human nature; to have flaws, to not be an expert at every aspect of life. Or is it just my lame excuses for not trying hard enough, perhaps? Have you ever found a person so brilliant you can’t help but adore and wondering what did they do in their 24 hours worth a day? I have, and it got me thinking like whether they did too much or I did nothing my whole life. Well my rationality chooses the second statement of course since I realized there is a ton of times I did absolutely nothing but breathing and blinking. No wonder I often felt so empty I could disappear. 

I miss you by the way, I miss everyone. I miss the existence of people who used to be around me all the time. I miss talking to them, their companion, their presence. Sometimes I thought about the people I don’t talk to anymore. It felt like we were in each other’s radar 24/7 and now somehow she’s standing across the street, looking at me as someone she barely knew. I can’t even believe what have I done for her then. We go way back together with one of my best. We practically did things which we have never thought about if it wasn’t for her. I cared about my friends─all of them. And she’s my friend, at least I thought she was. Until one day I am sitting here can’t help but smile remembering those things we did, which actually for nothing. Things I learned from that is what making me who I am today. 

You know what, now I’m kind of used to stranger’s gaze, unfamiliar chatter, and ridiculous spelling of my name every time I order drinks from starbucks. The friendly smile from the barista kinda made my day though. I don’t know yet what tomorrow brings or what kind person it made me become, but tonight I’m Adit.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Once upon every night

I misread the map and forget to say But you brushed it with “it’s okay, I prefer we took the long way” You smiled and let the music play How can you avoiding the right turn Makes my stomach burn Maybe it’s because the wheel speed doesn’t really match my heartbeat The one goes slow, the other one is overflow All we do is screaming out To the old song you like Our voice is tone deaf and sounds horrible At the moment I realized that my feeling is in trouble I cursed at the crowded street That you seemed to enjoy every bit It’s the way that you never think twice To not let me be alone under the night lights Maybe it gives me shiver More than the way you open the door Or bringing close my dinner Now you ended up being more than a blur
1 comment
Intrigued enough? »

We will always be a could have had

I used to crawl into bed with the pain of your name Blood streaming down my eyes; praying for the time you came Screaming for air at the same time Not ready to hug you with another goodbye My whole life I only know you as one, And eighteen, twenty one, also thousands of none That afternoon I let the day passed by And yet, you go back to the place when we were still blind The tight hug is not helping at all Neither the easy tone wrapped in a loose t-shirt Your whole existence reminds me of hell I’ve been living in Since the last time you let us be gone And leave me here all alone Those days I wasn’t even sure I will survive because I used to run from everything by going to your reek-of-cigarettes words and cold as stone mouth. The sweet “ oh, darling, remember that you will always come home to me ,” used to make relieve streamed down all over my bones. That was enough, the hand to my limped foot; the band-aid to my burning world. My name rolled over the messages which I knew who it...
Post a Comment
Intrigued enough? »