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Kali Ini Aku Hilang Akal




Kala itu aku penuh perasaan
Tentang hati yang tak mampu untuk diisi
Dan desir hangat di rusuk
Serta kelambu berdebu yang menutup rapat tiap sudut
Lewat celah sempit kau tetap bisa masuk 


Tanpa mengetuk, tanpa suara, tanpa diduga
Antara renyah tawa dan nyaman hati
Sayup-sayup langkah kaki sudah merasuk diri
Heran,
mengapa bisa-bisanya aku izinkan
Tanpa ragu, tanpa bimbang, tanpa pemikiran 

Mungkin kau pun juga tak sadar
Menjelma bagai udara dingin yang lalu,
Hembus nafas yang sudah ku kenal sejak dulu,
Larut dalam aliran kata yang didalamnya aku tersapu 

Kalau boleh memilih
Tak ingin lagi aku pergi mengasingkan diri
Lagipula mana bisa ku lakukan lagi
Kalau ujungnya hanya aku yang berpegang erat
Dengan makna dari tiap kalimat mu yang tersirat 

Kali ini aku habis akal
Tentang pertanyaan yang tak memiliki jawaban
Dan pernyataan tanpa kepastian
Atau tanda baca yang tak sempat dituliskan 

Mau kau sudah punya pilihan
Atau tempat pasti dimana kau ingin tinggal
Satu yang seharusnya kau sadar:
Tidak peduli setinggi apa aku bangun tembok pembatas
Akan runtuh perlahan tiap kali kau bersandar.

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