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Dear you,





Dear you, 

I used to have plans for everything. My life has always been scheduled. I don’t know since when my days is full of loneliness in a coffee shop. Sometimes I feel like needing company so much I start calling everyone. From friends to the best, until I got no one. And then I snap, picturing your familiar figure sitting in front of me; your fragrance creeping into mine; your thin hard smile blinding my vision. It only took three second for me to dial your number and hung up the next. Shit, I should’ve known better than falling into the same hole I tried to ignore. Thank God I ended it before you pick up your phone. In some short spaces I looked around. All I could find is my red lipstick and its red stain everywhere; on a cup of chocolate I drank; on a brisk of smoke I burned. I really have no other option but to mute people’s chatter with Ed’s. “Cause maybe your lovable and maybe you’re my snowflakes and your eyes turned from green to grey in the winter I’ll hold you in a cold place and you should never cut your hair cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder,” he said—or sang. I couldn’t love him better, you know. He is great, he is here every time I need. And he said every words I have always love to heard. Oh shit, fuck me and my heart and my lonely soul. 

Still I am longing for your short thick voice more. This night couldn’t be any colder.
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