Skip to main content

I Kinda Don't Share & You Got It



Things I am not willing to share:
1. The lychee on my iced tea
2. Pia legong
3. The last bar of chocolate
4. My fucked-up history on the family area
5. The scar that’s way too revealing yet i’ve always succeed on hiding
6. The comfort of my own cold & quiet room whenever I need my space
7. My best friend’s confidential stories
8. Names of my crushes (like, never)
9. Hundreds of unfinished letters of anger I wrote to avoid snapping at people when I’m upset
10. The old site of my blog

Actually, there are like hundreds of things I am not willing to share to anyone, including you. I’m sorry this is not a love letter and you’re not the only exception. You are not even an exception at all. There isn’t any exception regarding my life and my constant need of dealing with it by my own.

Your way of being right there in front of me with eyes full-focused listening to my rambling words about the movie I watched last night while drinking an iced lychee tea is what I want to write about.

It is not because I will share those things on my list with you, but because you don’t ask for it and you know exactly that sometimes I have my own way to share things I am not willing to share by not sharing it at all.

You are no exception; but the only thing I ever need you to be, you became. And the reason I haven’t gotten used to not having you around even when you’re far behind is because at one point in my life, you are enough. And you got it; how I love to share but I have this several things I won’t at the same time. And you didn’t leave. Because of that.

I may or may not have you here again
but at every person whose eyes I’ve looked into,
I am always searching for a flicker of you
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hurt Me Enough Until I am Able to Let You Go

I am hanging onto the ropes Of the hours you didn’t reply; Of the phone calls you didn’t answer; Of all the time you were a teaspoon of sugar, Then I fell shortly after Into the questions that wrecked me from inside The second you were gone. I’d rather have it kills me Than watching you slowly fade While I climb back into the exact same spot Where standing alone needs a big amount of effort  So don’t be a really good song,  A line of words I cannot ignore,  A written feelings I adore,  Just don’t.  I only need you to do me a favor:  To bring on the good pain  And hurt me deep  Hurt me enough  Until I am able to cut off the string  Until the ache of your existence is finally missing
Post a Comment
Intrigued enough? »

Because I Will Always Be Here Even When It Hurts

He said that she is the most gorgeous species in the whole world that he could look at her for the rest of his life without getting bored, that his world revolves around her all she has to do is just blink and he’s there, that she is all he need he would give up everything but her, that for him even the existence of her is enough. She is a rose full of thorns he is willing to hold on. She is worth every drop of his blood, every breath of his life. I could picture her beautiful face which brings a smile of his every time his stare lingers on me yet his mind floating into her. After more than five minutes he came back from his own high, he got a flushed charming grin only by talking about her, to me. I smiled looking at his contented face. He said that he love spending time with me because he got me to listen. To quote his saying, “Oh God, what would I do without you?” — In a second I reply, “ you will never find out. ”
Post a Comment
Intrigued enough? »

I Should Have Punched Myself Square in the Face

The first time I ever saw that man I wanted nothing more than punch him square in the face. He reminded me of the things I want and never gonna get; to be wanted; to be number one of someone’s priority. He reminded me of the things I said I would never do yet I’ve done anyway. He reminded me of the reasons I turn into someone I didn’t. He reminded of the poison I took, and looking at him now makes me want it more. He reminded me of the shits I’ve been through, pain I suffered, cruel words I said. He is the one behind my toxic pen I wrote crappy paroxysm with.  I could make a thousand lists of why would I punch him in the face.  He is terrible as a human being, he is terrible to me.  One night he called me, laying himself open. And I rendered, erasing all of his sins from my resentment. The air became colder but the moment I let myself thinking that he probably doing that to many people, I faded into flames.  I put up some reasons why I shouldn’t ha...
Post a Comment
Intrigued enough? »