I Kinda Don't Share & You Got It

Things I am not willing to share:
1. The lychee on my iced tea
2. Pia legong
3. The last bar of chocolate
4. My fucked-up history on the family area
5. The scar that’s way too revealing yet i’ve always succeed on hiding
6. The comfort of my own cold & quiet room whenever I need my space
7. My best friend’s confidential stories
8. Names of my crushes (like, never)
9. Hundreds of unfinished letters of anger I wrote to avoid snapping at people when I’m upset
10. The old site of my blog

Actually, there are like hundreds of things I am not willing to share to anyone, including you. I’m sorry this is not a love letter and you’re not the only exception. You are not even an exception at all. There isn’t any exception regarding my life and my constant need of dealing with it by my own.

Your way of being right there in front of me with eyes full-focused listening to my rambling words about the movie I watched last night while drinking an iced lychee tea is what I want to write about.

It is not because I will share those things on my list with you, but because you don’t ask for it and you know exactly that sometimes I have my own way to share things I am not willing to share by not sharing it at all.

You are no exception; but the only thing I ever need you to be, you became. And the reason I haven’t gotten used to not having you around even when you’re far behind is because at one point in my life, you are enough. And you got it; how I love to share but I have this several things I won’t at the same time. And you didn’t leave. Because of that.

I may or may not have you here again
but at every person whose eyes I’ve looked into,
I am always searching for a flicker of you