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I was ready to move out of the house you built for us to stay the moment I knew you will never come home anymore I sleep on the couch while watching TV without having to slide to the other side making a space for you to sit on I draw a nice bath with cold water I’d pleasurably enjoy without hearing your nagging voice from the other side of the door telling me to soak into hot water I lay awake at night snuggled into a thick blanket on rainy days without turning the heater on and there isn’t any warmth of your breath creeping on my skin trying to block away the cold I listen to my favorite whispery voice from slow mellow songs instead of having the argument over a blaring deafening one of yours I watch series that we both used to love one season in a night and when that one particular movie was on the TV I smiled remembering how hard you always cry while watching it And then I play it again for the hundred times trying to accustom myself not to deliberately searching for your ...

My old man didn’t bring me to life But he sure as hell is there every step of the way; Cradling the innocence within me, Dragging my bones, sometimes way too harshly And yet I don’t mind, I never do He walks as much as he talks wearing the grey too early for his folks Every time his mouth opens, he breathes out my lifeline And yet I don’t mind The ship bows when he whispers to the wind The time comes for the sun to dim, He lingers, not even once giving in Through whomever mouth the cruelty slipped out, He stands, not even once giving up I recall finding every bones in his body breaks apart; His voice raised, his blood dried up; Saltwater pooling in his clear stare, more than he can ever bear But never once I feel the grip of him loose from my ends I might not come from him, not entirely But I might as well be, I always wish I do For he is the only living breathing human being, whose quarter blood runs in my vein, never breaks my heart, or put my wrists in chain Every good pieces o...

Bisikkan malam menderu keras di telingaku beriringan dengan lantun tanpa syair dari sebuah racauan lagu anak kecil yang tidak sedikit pun merdu Gelap angin teriakkan dua senti helai rambut di besarnya kepala berbalut wajah familiar yang dihiasi dua bola mata hitam tajam berlapis geram Lalu seketika satu dua puluh juta kata bermanja tanpa membiarkan jeda tiba dan aku tersadar bahwa takutku akan sebuah tatapan intens pun luruh olehmu, sirna Dalam satu hembus napas aku biaskan indahmu ke masa kelam dan ku lempar hangatnya nyaman ke arah keramaian tak berarti yang mengelilingi Walau sekeras apa upayaku menata detak yang ku kira sudah retak sejak tahun lalu, tak jua hilang kemampuanku untuk selalu bisa bertemu dengan bagian dari hatimu yang kau tutupi kaca bening penuh dengan sirat abu-abu Walau sekeras apa upayamu untuk menjadi orang yang aku benci selama ini, tak jua mampu kau berbohong untuk mengakui keruntuhan tembok tinggi yang bersamanya seraup izin tanpa kata membiarkanku men...

My heart is fire and your hands are the lighter You can cast it aside or keeping me as a flicker The way you lit your cigs is classic And though I am a part of it, You still got sole power to control every bit It was not that thin like any other kind Coming right off the clean white pack, It was tiny and thick; compact With scant of paper left on the end side You’re letting my fire kiss it hastily Only to have more time For your lips to devour it leisurely, Slowly, gently, it burns and burns And it keeps on burning Seven minutes straight before you harshly put it out Much less time than what others prefer to drag But the smell, oh the smell is haunting To the very core, it is intoxicating Tingle in the throat; crisp to my nose And, oh, how every air that tastes like that Injects pieces of you into my blood at maximum dose All of it is white with a hint of aureate All of it is you; taking a poison like it was your last breathe Between you...

Dunia bersuara lewat setiap kisah manusia. Tentang yang hilang, bertahan, dan kembali pulang. Tentang perasaan, dialog kalbu, dan potongan rindu. Tentang satu, dua, tiga jiwa, dan selebihnya yang memberi makna.  Waktu adalah satuan hidup yang lucu. Tidak berupa, namun mampu mengiringi di setiap antara. Penggalan cerita, hembus napas manusia, serta serpihan perasaan. Penentu dari sekelebat, dua abad, maupun yang kini hilang tanpa kasat.  Kala itu aku kenal sederet nama yang goresan hidupnya bertabrakan dengan milikku yang cacat, terluka, dan tidak sempurna. Rinai air mata, renyah tawa, sejuta ribu emosi bergantian penuhi dada.  Kali ini tentang manusia-manusia hebat yang di dalam perjalanan meninggalkan kisah singkat. Tentang perih, hagia, tak terlupa sisa luka. Semua yang mampu dituliskan dengan kata, dimulai dengan tentangnya.  I.  Tentangnya yang dari pertama terasa seakan tidak terlalu berarti, sampai nyatanya menjadi pengisi hari. ...

Indah mu mampu memberi warna 365 hari ku yang lalu Tidak lagi kini, tidak tahu nanti Tak lagi berpendar bak percikan; Terasa sedatar hamparan padang gersang; datang kau sekelebat udara, sedingin minus derajat tiga Februari, kali ini peganglah aku seerat-eratnya

You and I are only good on my papers Written with the trace of tears; Every layers of words Crafted with metaphors Magnificently appeared as a poetry showing off what was ours You and I are only good on your pictures Aesthetically taken; Glimpse of comfortable silence Frozen in a split-second moment The smile in our eyes are blinding the things our lips can’t let out We are good together at hiding it Little did they know, I always write about pain and Your photographs are only left as a memory Of every former agony